How do I say “no” without making my boy/girlfriend feel bad and without feeling pressured?

27. October 2009

faq

Be firm, honest, and empathetic. Don’t wait until you’ve gone too far – it will be harder to say no. Talk about your sexual limits before you start hugging and kissing. Try to say no privately, not in front of his/her friends. Give a reason for saying no – for example, “I’m just not ready for sex right now. It’s not that I don’t love you. I’d just like to get to know you better before we go any farther. I’m sorry, but my mind is made up.” Or you might say, “I don’t believe in sex before marriage. I care about you, and I don’t want to lose you, but I have to be clear about this. I hope you’ll respect my feelings.” Whatever you say, be sincere. Don’t say something that you don’t really mean or believe. If he or she continues to pressure you, then it’s time to be firm. Tell him/her that you will not be bullied into doing something you don’t want to do. Pressuring someone to do something they’re not ready for is disrespectful, uncaring, and selfish.

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